Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Breaking News: An Athlete Playing For Cleveland Actually Enjoys Playing For Cleveland

    After viewing Peyton Hillis' postgame conference, following the Cleveland Browns' first victory of the regular season over the Cincinnati Bengals 23-20, and confirming with our sources, just because we feel so important when we discuss our "sources," Cleveland's Steamer can confirm that the Browns starting running back has some actual affection for our city. This is truly shocking stuff, considering that recent DUI recipient and possible model for the Taliban's fall catalog (beard joke), Braylon Edwards pointed out that, “There’s nothing going on in Cleveland. There’s no real estate. There’s no social life, no social networking. All the people who have something going on leave Cleveland. So Cleveland has nothing.." 

   Hillis seems to have looked past those alleged issues, and has decided to embrace Cleveland's essence. Of course, that essence consists of a blue-collar work ethic that reflects Hillis' career trajectory. “There are such hard-working people here and they love their football so much, you want to play as hard as you can for them all the time. I think the good Lord had a plan for me to wind up in Cleveland," said Hillis who just may have turned the Dawg Pound into a section filled with his own personal admirers and their man-crushes. 

  Needless to say, 2010 has been an unrewarding year for the Cleveland sports fan, and our collective sack has been mercilessly kicked a few times. So it's fairly refreshing to see that there are still some professional athletes in today's world that appreciate the loyal, passionate fanbase around here. Athletes that don't need a certain amount of nightclubs or twitter followers to feel validated. One day, maybe the city of Cleveland will feature the real estate that Mr. Edwards clamors for, or isn't simply "all factories," (abandoned or not), as NBA player and former economist at MIT Joakim Noah so eloquently stated, more players will want to play for our town. Then again, maybe we shouldn't let our image be defined by condescending, self-absorbed superdouches who almost choked to death from the silver spoon in their mouths during childhood.


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